The House as a Psychiatric Diagnostic Tool

You know how sometimes a simple drive by can tell you all kinds of fascinating information about the inhabitants of a particularly house?
Here are a few around town that I snapped on a recent walk.
In my mind, I see a psychiatrist with a stick drawing of a house rather than a Rorschach blot. He makes notes on the image (i.e.) gaudy flower pots speak to impending dementia...
You dig?

Let's play!

House # 1:
a. a clear case of ADD
b. a simple case of the fuck-its no meds required.

Another view for the people. I can't say that the color scheme isn't brilliant, because it manages to be all dressed up and waiting for flag day way way way in advance.
But I kinda think the owners need to take a good hard look in the mirror and admit to their inner-most selves that the 30 minute beer break they took in 2004 is officially over, and now it's time to finish painting that sum bitch.

House # 2
House #2 has so much going on that I need to feed it to you in teensie bite-size pieces lest you stop finding this exercise entertaining and start shaking your head and calling me a heartless bitch.
note 1: the use of unconventional materials as porch support. This could be a sign of:

a. an artistic spirit and/or rich Appalachian heritage
b. Schizophrenia (OK, I'm stretching a bit but note the semi-visible political sign)

note 2: A variety of exciting trim colors on the porch mouldings
a. A super artistic spirit, JEEZ! Why are you so judgmental?
b. Bipolar disorder - Happy Paul likes green, Sad Paul likes blue.

note 3: Roofing Is Fun - a still life.
a. Bipolar - (mania) I'm going to re-roof the porch! No, wait, I'm going to make my own yogurt! No, wait, I'm going skiing (note waiting skis)
b. Schizophrenia - voices told him to re-tar the roof or else the President would die.

Talk amongst yourselves. Leave your votes in the comment section s'il vous plait.

You can only see a bit of it in these shots - but the next door neighbor's house is f'n immaculate. I feel for them, whoever they are. Sorry folks, all the white picket fences in the world can't draw the eye away from the fact that you live Pippi Longstocking adjacent.


modernemama said...

I'm kind of digging the anarchist spirit in both.
Do you think #2 is a part-time lumberjack with a really sturdy truck?

Nadine @ BDG said...

I've seen that top one a few times and scratched my head. Is it supposed to mimic the flag?! What impresses me most is how it has developed some slopes and sags along the way.

Just Off The Taconic said...

Please please please make this a regular "feature." Too funny.

us said...

OK # 1, yes I agree, full size truck definitely involved.

#2 I kinda doubt that there was anything intentional about this paintjob. The flag thing was just something I pulled out of my. Well, you know. In fact I really believe that whoever started painting it truly believes that they are just pacing themselves.

#3 I think it's inevitable.Hudson provides such delicious material:)

Green Fairy said...

Thanks for the laugh! I agree, ya gotta make this a feature. But be prepared to discover that some of your neighbors actually read the blog (it's happened to me).

hallie said...


Renovation Therapy said...

Hudson has got *it* all!

Velvet and Linen said...

Hmmm....now I'm looking at my house and wondering what it says about my neuroses!
Thank you for the laugh.


Louie Monkey-Pest said...

I live down on Columbia St. just below the first house you showed. The owner was painting it herself, but she fell off the ladder and broke both wrists. I wonder if she also thinks it is so funny.

us said...

There you go - everyone predicted there would be eventual buzz kill.
Course, that house has been that way for a long long long time. So I'm going to have to go with still funny.
Not that I find broken wrists funny or anything - it's only the house I'm laughing at. If you read much of the blog you'll see I poke 50x more fun at myself and my own disaster of a house.
So yeah, still funny.

Newburgh Restoration said...

Simply Hilarious! Good post.