I'm a Big Fat Winner

About a million years ago, pre-shidt hitting the fan, I won an exciting indoor/outdoor Koko rug from a contest on ILoveUpstate. As part of the deal, I pledged to post a picture of the rug once it arrived.
But then all kindsa hell broke loose and I sort of forgot.
I sort of suck.
So here it is, in all it's glory:

Yep, Bernie the anti-nature dog uses it to get just a teensie bit more comfortable outdoors.
Poor little dude. He was brought up in Brooklyn and has only recently become willing to pee anywhere in the yard. I had to take him to a hydrant down the block for about a year.
Thank God our yard has so many weird cement patches, or he'd totally freak out.
However, cement wasn't quite indoorsy enough for the Bernster who seems to really appreciate the rug.
Thanks Koko! Thanks I Love Upstate!

Bernie Bernstein says thanks!

Happy Endings

The woman who took our pool just wrote me the nicest email and included photos of her fabulously restyled pool. Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan!
I'm so happy. I placed a really touchy feel-y ad on craigslist that talked all about how I wanted it to go to a family who would enjoy it.
How cool is it that it actually happened?
I hope her kids have an amazing summer!
Here's to giving away everything that you aren't currently using.

Weekend Yard Project

Even though I should be blogging for one of my paying gigs right now. I'd rather show off a little proj progress from the long weekend. It was such a nice break. We worked like crazy in the yard, but also had some awesome home cooked dinners with friends, and walked to a gorgeous double waterfall nearby. But I digress.

Here's the deal. I snapped up this table and chair set at my favorite affordably priced Warren Street haunt (there are a few I promise!) Carousel.
When I bought it, the chairs were white vinyl.
Ick.
Sticky summer legs, where do I sign up. Right?
Anyway - I'll probably put a clear coat over them so they don't continue to chip and rust. I like the current ratio.
Before...


After (one is an armchair and one is a side)
I'm not super awesome with the upholstery projects yet - I don't suggest starting with stripes btw - but I'm happy with it even if they are a little wiggly.



The cuteness comes together.



The over all sitation:
What you don't see is the huge pile of crappola including but not limited to posts with huge concrete globs on them (deck carcass), tons of rotten wood, three (why) rusty propane tanks, snarled metal fencing etc. etc. etc. that was piled up directly behind this little patch of concrete paradise. That's cause we lugged it outa there!



The yellowish grass is where it lurked.



Ok so maybe this IS too many pictures.
Whatever. It took a long friggin time people, so please humor me.




Bernie loves it - so there.



I made a little DIY firepit out of some of the pretty antique bricks we had. I salvaged these from one of the "chimneys to nowhere" that we took down from the roof when we had it repaired. Note to self, find out city fire laws.
I've seen other neighbors with firepits but God knows I live my life in fear of a scolding, so I'll have to check.



Here's where all the stuff is now - cause I know you wondered.
Note: Alleys are rad!



Here's more of it.
Sometimes things take a long time around here becaue Rainman loves him some organization. But I look the other way because I have found over time that his methods generally pay off.



Anyway - we will probably lay flagstone on top of the little cement patch - or box it in and pour pea gravel. Either of those would be preferable to cement. And both will be fairly simple to do since we don't have to level anything.
But this will do for now.

And after all that Joe mowed


So there's the dirt patchy, former pool area on the right and the cement island on the left. The former home owners sure loved to break up flow. If you are wondering what the heck's up with the rusty pole center frame, why it's half of the gigantic clothes line that diagonally cuts across the lawn.
We know.
It's next on the chopping block.
Joe's totally looking forward to digging out the concrete pilings holding it in place.

More soon!

Mary Doesn't Like To Talk About the Asteroid

We finally broke down and listed the WT pool on craigslist for free. We figured that if any family was willing to show up and spend the day dissembling it, then they kinda deserved to leave with the spoils, know what I'm sayin?
We did not anticipate the 150 replies we got. But being a true skeptic I was sure that no one would actually show up. I finally chose the woman who was willing to drive 2+ hours to get it - though again... skeptical.
Here's the deal - we just sort of never felt like spending the $1,000 or so that it would take to get it up, running and de-grossified.
Especially since we only considered keeping it until the renovation was finished. Believe it or not, my homeowner dreams never included an above ground pool. They also never included a Mary in the half shell, but whatevs. Mary stays put.

Partially because she is one of the only post 1900's additions to the property that appears to be well constructed and thus - sound, and partially because I'm kinda superstitious and I feel like she's good juju.
Sorry Catholicism at large, I mean thee no offense.
Here's a nice before:



And a few durings. This is after the family drove away with all the pool parts. What you see left behind is tarp detritus and pool scum.
ps: it was a freezing day. The family that came to get it were total troupers!

This is a grouchy Joe attempting to appease me with an action shot. So lifelike!

Yeah, so it kind of looked like a depressing pond for a few days. Till it dried up and began looking alike an asteroid crash site guarded by the Virgin Mother.

It looks so much better now can't even take it. We also ditched the "deck."
Mary really fancies up a yard don't she now?
We plan to fill it in and plant grass and flowers. Yay!

Dad Labor - The Final Installment

I probably didn't mention that my Dad went home with a nasty case of full body poison ivy. But yeah, my Dad went home with a nasty case of poison ivy. One of the other things he did for me while here was clear the crap out of my yard. Here's a fascinating picture of the side of a dirty garage. You don't give a rat's ass? Well what if I told you that there used to be weeds (probably 85% poison ivy now that I reflect upon it) the size of a box hedge that came about two feet up the side of said garage? Oh you still don't give a toss? Oh Ok.

So anyway - Dad cleared all of it. 

The underneath of this tree was piled with three years of sticks. Gone! Thanks Dad. 

The lawn is cut and the weeds are wacked. This part was a Joe/Dad collaboration. It's really starting to look nice back there. 

So Dad really wanted to try stripping the fireplace mantle, just in case there was something cool under there. I tried to get him to buy a green stripper - but his actual words to the Lowes salesman were "I'd like the toxic chemicals please." Argggggggg. Anyway - after he stripped it for awhile this beauty emerged. All we could say was REALLY? 

Yep - they really did paint the whole thing pepto pink. It's even gnarlier when you realize that the kitchen ceiling was also this color as were the living room walls... as was all the... wait for it...

window trim - which we stripped a tad just to see what was under there. 

So yeah - we're going to ditch the mantle and just give all that trim a fresh coat of white. And that concludes the Dad trip. Thanks Dad xoxo.I needed to get this last installment posted because I have pics of the fireplace project which I started last weekend. So stay tuned!

In Other Lawn News

so it looks like we have rose bushes. Too bad i refuse to water anything in our yard under any circumstances. I wonder if they'll survive?

But then there's this beast that's trying to get out from under the porch. Crap! now I know where the carpenter ants are getting in.

Adventures in Lawnmowing

Ok - so mowing a lawn that hasn't been cut in at least two years is kind of a big deal. Especially for two people who don't own a lawn mower or a weed wacker and who haven't attempted to mow grass in a solid twenty + years (or for me, never). Actually, I don't even know why I'm trying to insinuate myself into this scenario cause I did zilch. Unless you count picking out the lawnmower which we got at Lowes (after checking them out all over town including HD). Anyway, just buying one was almost an all day extravaganza. Joe tackled it in sections. I took these photos as night was falling and he'd done about half. He pretty much gave the yard a fauxhawk. I can just imagine the neighbors looking at it and shaking their heads over the citiots.

Mary on the halfshell is still up to her neck in grass at press time.

What kind of tree is this?

Plant people. you know who you are.
Gather round.
What kind of tree is this?
It's big. It's pretty. It's home to a bunch of bees nests.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand those are the clues. Go!





In honor of Jean, of Iloveustate (turned renovationtherapy), and Joanne, of theboxhouse - I will be offering a prize.

How Not To Make The Neigbors Love You

We knew that Chester had demo'd a ceiling for us while we were busy working in Brooklyn. But we didn't realize how much garbage that would generate, or that he and his dudes would drag it into the backyard and leave it there. Anyway - it was pretty major as you can see. This is the view from the back window.
ps: people have asked if that white building in the distance is a neighbor's house - nope that's the two car garage. It has a great hayloft upstairs too. But anyway - behold the garbage that we have to deal with asap.

Hey, since we are back here anyway let's take a look at our awesomely functional gutter system.


Then I went around to the side of the house and realized there was more crap that had been tossed into the side yard. Thank God that house is for sale so there's no one over there glaring out from between the curtains calling us the garbage neighbors.

Other Stuff

This is the two car garage that is covered in antique bead board (even the ceiling) which I would love to repurpose...

The floors we discovered under linoleum in the closets....
Huge backyard....
Huge back yard with (admittedly) a few bizzaro items in it....
SO here's the thing. We told our agent - listen, do not even bother to show us houses UNLESS they come with a virgin Mary statue in the backyard. And if she could be sheltered from the elements with a cast iron bathtub that would be even better. And if that bathtub could be buried at least 4 feet underground and have cement poured into it, guarantying that it shall never-ever be moved that would be totally awesome. And Rob was all, "I'll see what I can do."
Here is our favorite mantle. I feel sad for it to have been forced to share quarters with such creepy wall and flooring materials for all these years.

Note the 3 D Jesus picture that was here the first time we saw the place. Such a selling point! I recommend it to all brokers.

Darkness On The Edge Of Town

Here's the house from the street. Joe told me we could buy this house as long as he could name it darkness on the edge of town - and I think my response was a frenzied, "totally!" I really loved this house and I would have agreed if he'd wanted to name it Joe Jr. But honestly the house looks like an old stoic lady wearing a raggedy house dress. It kinda looks like a Bernice.
But you're right, Joe's name suggestion is way way cooler.